SortaCrunchy

so long six. so now seven.

"The seven year old, with his toothless smile, is a physical marvel. He stumbles while running across the playground, because his legs probably grew while he slept last night. He looks slightly different every day, because he is growing teeth and losing them at a rapid rate. Suddenly, he is able to think outside the concrete experience of his in-the-moment life, and plan ahead, envisioning what is not yet there." -- Pam Allyn

It is the tradition I engage in every year on January 27th, a sacred liturgy all my own, remembering the last 24 hour hours before Dacey was born, the last full day before I was reborn as a mother.

I start at 6 AM, remembering the soul-crushing call to the labor and delivery floor of our hospital. "Too full." Too full for me to come in for the scheduled induction. Nine days past the due date I was convinced I wouldn't reach, nine days of growing more and more convinced she would never, ever arrive.

But later in the day, there was mercy in the form of the careful gloved hand of my doctor. Membranes stripped at 1 PM. Labor started at 4. I waited until Friends was over at 7:30 to go to the hospital. A long night and lots of things never imagined and she was born on the 28th - FINALLY - at 5:43 AM.

With solemnity and smiles, I mark the day every year. The last day before.

* * * * *

"Seven year olds worry, but they also revel in the rich moments that are special to their age. An ice-cream cone with a grandparent or a subway ride are grand adventures. Seven-year-olds are true companions, old enough to understand you have had a hard day, and young enough to need that day to fall away so she can crawl right back into your arms, preparing for the new and better day ahead." -- Pam Allyn

After school, she climbed into her booster seat and told me breathlessly, "Mom! I got my first birthday present at school today! It was from Maria!" Dacey's pre-K and Kindergarten class looped up together; I know them all by name. Maria is the only one from that class who is in first grade with Dacey, and oh, I do love that little girl. White teeth against brown skin make her smile a true wonder of creation.

"A marble! A clear marble with blue and orange swirl!" Dacey held up it for me to admire, and I said, "What a great gift! How thoughtful of Maria!" My daughter's big enthusiasm for the smallest things - I wish I could capture it and swirl in a marble and tuck it away to treasure the rest of my days.

* * * * *

"While we all rush by, busy and moving quickly, the seven-year-old will still tug at your hand to bend down and take another look. They want to keep that beloved book by their beds because the act of rereading feels important, soothing, and instructive. How right they are. In reality, they are building their reading muscles, becoming more fluent readers, and increasing their stamina and comprehension by revisiting familiar texts on their own that for years you have been reading aloud to them. -- Pam Allyn"

"Pray over me."

Every night, our ritual. Aliza Joy says it, "Pray about me," and Lord knows I do. But Dacey says it the way I say it and I say yes, I'll pray over you.

Holy God and Heavenly Father, thank you for my Dacey girl. She is a treasure and a blessing and a gift from You. Thank you for her beautiful heart and her so smart mind and her loving choices today. Thank for another day with her. Put your Hand on her mind, God, and keep the bad dreams away. Help her dreams to be filled with all the things that are happy and beautiful and good. In the name of Jesus I ask these things, Amen.

If there was ever a child who loved ritual and routine and re-reading and re-visiting, it is her. She feels ground in sameness, but proud of herself for trying new things. "It's good to try something new every day" has been her favorite mantra lately, and I am amazed by the way she has incorporated positive self-talk into her life at such an early age.

She is truly new each day. More of her pull close, pants too short each morning, big teeth pushing in as quickly as little ones fall out. She is growing into herself every day, and I'm learning to step back more and become a student of my child, one of the best texts I'll ever read in her big dark brown eyes.

It will be hard to top Six, it was such a great year for us. But I have high hopes for Seven, for this golden age that is the blessed middle, far from babyhood but still a safe distance from tweenage. Days of marbles and rituals and giggles and fairies that visit in the night, leaving behind sweet rewards as consolation for the pieces of my baby they take while she sleeps.

* * * * *

All Pam Allyn quotes are from her highly helpful book What to Read When: The Books and Stories to Read with Your Child--and All the Best Times to Read Them

Dacey's birth story can be found here: Happy Three to D!

Now Accepting February Sponsors!

It's almost February and I want to invite you to partner with me at SortaCrunchy!

February holds lots of good stuff for SortaCrunchy, including my monthly post at Deeper Story as well as guest posts at several other blogs. Finally, at the end of the month, I'll be traveling to Nashville for Blissdom 2012 where I'll serve as a community leader and have the chance to connect with many MANY bloggers who I'm sure will be stopping by SortaCrunchy.

SortaCrunchy continues to receive 150,000 page views a month and the subscriber number is quickly approaching 3,000. (eeek! what?!) If this is the month you would like to step out in partnership with me, check out my sponsor page and send me an email!

Your Green Resource - Week Eighteen

Good Thursday morning! It's time for another link-up of Your Green Resource!

What is Your Green Resource? It's your chance to share all your green ideas, resources and solutions with ALL of our readers! So when you link up on any of our blogs, your idea will be shared with all of the readers here and at:

Andrea at The Greenbacks Gal Stacy at A Delightful Home Emily at Live Renewed

We know that many of you have posts of your own about your green journey that our readers will love. Some examples of Green Resources you can link up:
* Real Food Recipes
* Repurposed Projects
* Upcycled Projects
* Organic Gardening Tips
* DIY Natural or Green
* Thrifty Solutions

Each week, the four hostesses will each choose a favorite post from the week's links and pin it to our all new Your Green Resource board!

The post I pinned this week is from Small Footprint Family: Why You Should Start a Food Buying Club This Year.

I picked this post because I know first-hand how beneficial a purchasing co-op can be. I am part of a local Frontier Products co-op and I save sooooooooooo much money purchasing natural living products this way! This post has great information on how to start one where you live.

So now it's your turn, my friends.

Just a few things to remember as you share your green living links - OLD OR NEW - with us each week:

* Make sure to link to the post with your green/natural/frugal living idea - not your homepage.

* We would love it if you could spread the word about Your Green Resource to YOUR readers by linking back to one of the four hostesses. Posts with a link back to Your Green Resource are the posts eligible to be pinned to our Your Green Resource pinboard each week.

* Your Green Resource is a GREAT way to connect with other like-minded bloggers. Check out the other links shared this week - it's a great way to grow your own blogging community!

Green and simple living friends! Have you met the featured sponsor for January? At A Simply Good Life, Vanessa explores the idea that a lower standard of living doesn't mean lower quality of life.

the confessional: in the tank

feelings as big as the oklahoma skies

There's this great moment in Season One of Project Runway when Michael Kors looks at his judging card and says to a designer about her just awful sad mess of a design, "I wrote down farty."

 That pretty well describes the past few weeks for me.

But wait, that's not fair. There is some good stuff, but my overall vibe has been just farty. 

When Kyle was coaching, he used the phrase "in the tank" for years to describe an athlete who was just suddenly and inexplicably completely dejected. So much of athletic performance is mental, and sometimes the slightest bump just throws an otherwise outstanding athlete into the depths of despair.

Generally some kind of great public success could lure the athlete out of the tank, but more often than not, if things were going badly on the field, it was because of something off the field.

I can identify with that, though I am far from being an athlete. But every now and again, I find myself in the tank. The bump that caused me to stumble in is usually something petty and insignificant. Like, hypothetically speaking, after hearing over and over for several years that anyone can wear skinny jeans and ordering a pair and realizing that's one of the biggest lies ever told. I mean to say, that's just as an example that's how petty it could be. Or it could be the public recognition of someone else's success and facing the truest true truth that I'll never be what that person is. Or it could even be a brief illness, something as transient as a cold. And suddenly, everything is farty.

Especially me.

* * * * *

I get dozens of requests for Pinterest invites every day. Mostly people just say "Invite me" or some variation of that, but sometimes people write personal notes. A week or so ago, someone had come to SortaCrunchy for the first time to get a Pinterest invite and shared that we had so much in common, she couldn't believe I was real.

Oh.

I'm real.

And sometimes I think that's what pushes me into the tank - the realness of myself. The real is so heavy, so far from the floaty ideal I think I am. I feel clumsy and ache-y with the real. I feel so real, so impossibly, breath-catchingly real that I just can't stand to feel it anymore, and conjure some mystical numbness to cover myself in, and under that cover I slouch and hide.

* * * * *

But then, as quickly as the wind sweeps an Oklahoma sky free of clouds, I'm over it. I'm out and I'm buoyant and I'm back. I think I can say, right at this moment, that yes. The farty has lifted and things have re-centered and I shrug off the numbness.

And I carry on.