Well now. I feel as though I quite possibly have bitten off more than I can chew.
I applaud you for the way each of you who were brave enough to add a comment to yesterday's post handled yourselves. Of course, this is a topic which can bring hurt feelings, angry outcries, and general divisiveness to the surface. Although a few of the responses were more vehement than others, it was all pretty tame in the grand view of Babywise discussions.
In the past twenty-four hours, I've had some internal conflict about whether or not to proceed with this series. I've pondered whether or not I spoke clearly enough that my purpose here is to cover my concerns with the text of Babywise, not to condemn, belittle, judge, or criticize those who have found it to be helpful and positive in their families. I've also wondered how much time I want to invest into babysitting comments in a series like this.
I'm just going to move forward with caution and see how things play out.
The most poignant question from yesterday was from Jennifer, who asked regarding the topic of fear:
yes, I'm ready for this portion too... because i am sooooo confused about the whole fear thing. scripture tells us that a certain fear is what we are to have.
Deuteronomy 6:2
so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.but this whole fear thing seems to be so debated. especially in the AP community. i cant wait for this discussion!
thanks for an opportunity to learn! isn't that what we all want?
Yes, as you can imagine, I'm going to have to do some reading and thinking before I take that on.
In the meantime, I do want to say one issue I will not be covering in this series is the topic of the effects of Babywise and scheduled feedings in general on the success or failure of breastfeeding.
This is one of the most hotly debated aspects of Babywise, but I cannot with any accuracy or authenticity speak to this topic. To begin with, I'm not a lactation consultant or an LLL leader. I have no formal training in the science of breastfeeding. All I have is my own experience as a breastfeeding mother.
Our oldest, Dacey, was fed on a schedule, though I didn't push the three hour span between feedings until she was closer to four months (rather than eight weeks, which my edition of Babywise instructed). She was born at 9 lbs, 12 oz., and continued to just grow exponentially from there. I mean, seriously, look at the child at four months:
Cuh-LEAR-ly we had no failure-to-thrive issues. LOOK AT THOSE ARMS! Good heavens.
Anyway, my only breastfeeding issue/problem was overabundant supply and overactive letdown. It was sometimes painful, often messy, and in general just inconvenient, but eventually everything evened out and I continued to nurse her on a schedule until she was about twelve months old. At that point, I began nursing her only first thing in the morning, before naps, and before bedtime. She self-weaned at just past two.
Our youngest child, Aliza Joy, was fed on demand from birth. Like her sister, she was born on the bigger side of newborn averages (8 lbs, 8 oz) and continued to grow at a reasonable pace. Eventually (I would say by two months), she had found her own predictable schedule for when she wanted to eat. Again, the only breastfeeding issue I had was overabundant supply, and again, it worked itself out. She breastfed until she was twenty-one months old when I initiated weaning.
So who am I to speak on the challenges that feeding on demand or feeding on a schedule can bring?
Many others have voiced their concerns over the possibility that scheduled feedings can be harmful for babies. If you would like to do more reading on the matter, here are some resources:
AAP News Release: Babywise linked to dehydration, failure to thrive.
Many parents have shared their stories of how adherence to a strict schedule resulted in a failure to thrive diagnosis. I was particularly moved by the one titled Just In Time.
Kellymom joins the AAP in recommending newborns be fed on demand to increase milk supply. From Kellymom's page on low milk supply:
Here are more resources from Kellymom that address breastfeeding and scheduled feedings.
NOW, having said all of that, don't forget that I have a happy, healthy four and a half year old who is still in the 95th percentile for weight and height who was schedule-fed as a baby. Some babies WILL take to a feeding schedule just fine; it will not work for others. Common sense and maternal instinct must prevail.
Alright, care to weigh in? My only request is that if you do share your feedback as a comment, please, please limit your response to criticism or support of the ideas of Babywise and/or scheduled feedings. Please do not criticize or use inflamatory, unloving, or unkind words to describe parents who schedule feed.
