*UPDATE* Please read the response from katiekind in the comments. I think she adds profound insight to this heartbreaking situation.
I was just going to be still today - quietly attempting to catch up on comments on the public school post, but I'll tell you what. This story caught me by the heart today, and it will not turn loose. I don't know what else to do with myself, so I'm saying it.
You may have read about a family in California accused of the beating death of their seven year old daughter through adoption, and the torture of their eleven year old daughter through adoption. If you can stomach it, you can read news reports here and here.
This couple implemented discipline techniques suggested by Michael and Debi Pearl, authors of the book To Train Up A Child. I will not link to them or their material. The Pearls teach a radical form of "Biblical" discipline that includes the use of plumbing tubing as an instrument of correction for unrepentant children. (According to police reports, seven year old Lydia Schatz was allegedly beaten to death with this kind of tubing when she could not/would not correctly pronounce a word in a reading lesson.)
I don't even know what to say about this except that I believe that the Pearls' teaching is dangerous. I think every parent should stay as far away from it as possible. Are there some hidden gems of truth or helpfulness in it? Maybe. I absolutely will not pollute my mind with it to find out, but my response to those who are looking for the helpfulness is that there is way too much wonderful Biblical parenting advice out there for you to have to dig through the dumpster to seek it out.
One note I wanted to make comes from a discussion on this case on a Christian mothering message board to which I belong. A mama who is far more wise and experienced in the matters of adoption than I am (she has adopted several children in varying age ranges) said this about this case:
With attachment, even abusive parents feel a conviction to stop short of death usually. In older child adoption, attachment is sooo hard to form. This child is a stranger in your home, yet you are expected to call yourself parent. In the best of situations, its a scary yet thrilling dance to attach with this fully formed person. If you start HITTING them, they WILL retreat and will not attach. And, now you are responsible for a child who sees you not merely as a stranger but a monster. And, you rise to that monster with no small voice inside of you that tells you BACK AWAY FROM THE PLUMBING TUBING. In short, you create RAD; you teach them to fear, to cringe, and that response causes you to hit harder because that is precisely the 'heart issue' Pearl tells you to discipline out of them. And, eventually they are simply dead, you have beaten them to death nothing can be done to stop it.
Sobering.
I'm not the only one speaking on this heartbreaking, stomach-turning case today. I encourage you to read these thoughts from others who have spoken with much more eloquence than I can.
Further reading:
Rebecca's Ramblings: This made me cry today
Roscommon Acres: Homeschool family charged with murder, torture, child abuse
Tulip Girl: Heartbroken. Angry. Again. (fantastic list of Pearl-related resources and discussion)
Edited: Adding this link to Quiet Garden which provides further insight into how the adoption component plays into this heartbreaking situation.
ADDED 2/20/10: Not sure if anyone is still reading the original post, so I'll add this in the comments as well: Ann Voskamp's thoughts on her family's experiences with the teaching of the Pearls (includes direct quotes from Pearl material).
