SortaCrunchy

Pancakes and the Practice of Gratitude

This was not the morning I wanted to make pancakes. 

We hit the snooze button twice and each of us were a little surly about a later start to the day that we had planned.  (Me more so than he, truth be told.)  D and AJ were also up within minutes and I was left scrambling to get a few quick verses of Scripture in along with a shotgun spray of prayer.

Lord, please help me to . . .
Lord, thank You for . . .
Lord, don't let me forget . . .

Don't you hate that running late start to the day?  It's even worse on a Monday, I think.  Amidst trying to organize thoughts and lists for the day, there were phone calls to take and even more to ignore.  There are some monumental things happening in the life of my family right now, and my mind was spinning with distraction.  (I'm pretty sure the second cup of coffee might have had something to do with that, too.)

"I want PAN CAKES!  I want PAN CAKES!  I wanna HELP make PAN CAKES!"

I so don't have time for this. 

But I am trying to remember that people are more important than projects and teaching is more important than to-do, so I agreed.  Okay.  Come help me make pancakes. 

Only she didn't really want to help.  She just wanted pancakes. 

I don't think I even realized how hard I was gritting my teeth until the muscle in my jaw started to twinge.  I tried to focus on cleansing breaths while I pulled the mixing bowls down and dug for measuring cups.

I've been faithfully reading A Holy Experience.  Reading isn't really quite the word though.   Drinking in, swimming around, thoughtfully relishing . . . those are all better ways to describe experiencing Ann's writing.  She has this ongoing project - 1000 Gifts - and she's encouraged me to seek the gifts, the endless gifts, our Father is always giving in the midst of every day.

As I flipped to the pancake recipe in my trusty Better Homes checkered cookbook, I decided to focus my thoughts on the gifts of that moment:

1) I have a beautiful, happy, healthy daughter to make pancakes for.
2) What once seemed unattainable has now become commonplace - she can communicate with me through words.
3) I have a pantry and refrigerator full of food for my family.
4) I can read from a cookbook.
5) Stovetop.  Electricity.  Running water.
6) Woke up today just as yesterday and the many days before that getting to do my dream job. 

Those are just a few of the gifts that came to mind while I mixed and poured and flipped and served.

I want to make this practice of gratitude such a part of my day that it becomes an unforced habit.  I'm going to join Ann and the others in her community of gratitude by purposefully recording and celebrating these endless gifts for the Giver of all good things.

Let me know if you decide to join in, too.

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I have, in fact, started the Shampoo Free experiment.  It's going, um, surprisingly well.  More on that later.

Week in Review

It's as though I just barely had a chance to breathe in April, and now here we are at the end of it and I don't feel quite ready for May. 

I sometimes feel as if all I do here these days is post pictures and share link love.  Ya'll, this is so unbearably trite but so exceedingly true - there just aren't enough hours in the day for me to do all that I want to.  So I focus on what I need to, and carve out time for the rest when I can.

Anyway, can you handle a few more links?  A few more pictures?

Two women I admire and respect are each about to launch separate but equally exciting new ventures and I want to make you aware of them:

Lis Garrett, of both woolgatherings and Lis Garrett: Silver Tongued Writer, is launching a new online web site called Root and Sprout.  Get a little preview of the sort of content Root and Sprout will offer here to find out why I am so looking forward to her launch.  I know some of you are amazing writers - this may be just the opportunity you have been looking for!  She also has information available if you are interested in advertising at Root and Sprout.

Another writer I absolutely adore is Megan of Velveteen Mind.  (She had me at Victor Vito.)  I am quite excited about her upcoming roll-out of Blog Nosh Magazine.  (Nosh.  Delish.)  Even though my feedreader and blogroll and email subscriptions are already way more than I can ever manage, I still love to discover new-to-me writers who are putting great content out there.  (She's looking for posts and channel editors - think you might be interested?)

One post I came across this week has spoken to me deeply and I keep rolling it around in my mind, like a mental wine tasting, breathing it in and savoring the top-notes and nuances in each sip:  Ann Voskamp's Breathe.

I don't usually read keeping awake, but Karla shared this in her reader this week, and I am so thankful - if you have a minute, go check out Boothe's thoughts on the question, "What if better doesn't come?"

AND ohmygosh I almost forgot this one!  I have to tell you about one of my new favorite blogs - Small Notebook.  They don't come much cooler than Rachel.  To begin with, she's a Texas mama (with tops out the cool meter right off the bat), and not only that, she's all about living green in the city - complete with compost bin, herb garden, and clothesline.  She buys gently used clothes for her darling daughter and I just adore how her blog is a collection of amazing photography, sweet ink drawings, and helpful, practical insights.  Go see her.  Enjoy.

OKAY.  I feel so much lighter.  Thanks for indulging me.

SO.

I think about five or six of you commited to mentioned you'd be up for sharing some poetry on Wednesday in honor of the (now almost over) National Poetry Month.  If I can figure it out, I'll do a Mr. Linky.  Let's have a good old-fashioned-hippie-beatnik poetry read!  Roll out your original verses or share your favorite lines from your favorite poets.  I can't wait!

Wait!  Before you go. I have pictures.

D celebrated Earth Day by glorying in both nature and pink.  Because pink's awfully earthy, right?

(these were shot through the window screen as I was trying to catch her unaware)

(which lasted about as long as one camera click)

(and then the silliness started)

(and the posing)

And can you believe AJ started with the finger foods this week? 

And finally, as you know and I am sure you are sick of hearing about, I haven't slept a whole lot in the past week.  And so here's my mothering tip of the week - when you are smooth-runnin' exhausted but your preschooler is abounding with energy, I can't think of a much more relaxing, mama-doesn't-have-to-move-or-even-get-out-of-her-chair activity than letting little one loose with the face paints.

Behold.

I so wanted to photoshop those dark circles away.  But that wouldn't have been very truthy of me, right?

WEDNESDAY.  POETRY.  BE HERE.

API Speaks!

(Yes, it's nearly one in the morning and I really am up this late blogging.  Short story made long - AJ is still sick, and now has a croup-y cough (not real croup, mind you, just a croup-y cough) (can you do parentheses inside parentheses?  Anyone know?  I guess I just did.) ), and she also has a nervous mama who doesn't like the sound of all that wheezing and would rather just sit up and doze with her all night than toss and turn and worry in bed until morning.)

This more-than-normal amount of time being invested in some intense nighttime parenting reminded me that I've let nearly a week go by without mentioning the exciting news that Attachment Parenting International has introduced a new blog: API Speaks! 

How awesome is this?  I've had the gorgeous opportunity to meet so many wonderful AP mamas through online connections.  I look forward to hearing from more of them at API Speaks.  In fact, I already have a couple of favorite articles:

* Remember our recent discussion on wearing the new baby?  Check this out - Dr. Maria Blois will be writing feature articles twice a month at API Speaks and her first article is on wearing a newborn.

AND

* I am loving Scylla's article Spare the Crib, Spoil Thyself as it speaks to exactly why I am an AP mama!   

Think you might like to contribute to the AP community by telling your story at API Speaks?  I do believe they are open to submissions right now and you can find their guidelines here.

Do you have a favorite AP resource (either online or off) that has encouraged you in your parenting journey?  I would love to hear about it! 

Work, Interrupted

Inside

Washer swishes, dryer swirls, dishwasher moans and groans.

Television pouts (protesting its sudden silencing) while the computer idles (unsure of what to do).

Outside

Birds flirt, sunshine beckons, shade invites

Mama snaps and snaps and snaps

A baby in a basket and a big girl in a box

play and play and play

(Inspired by Missy's Bless My Interruptions devotional at Christian Women Online)

Soapbox Alert: On approaches to vaccinations

Last Friday, the New York Times published a little one page article titled "Public Health Risk Seen as Parents Reject Vaccines."  I read the article and wasn't really surprised by the way Ms. Steinhauer reported on this hot-button topic.  Typical mainstream coverage of those who are making alternative vaccine choices . . . implying that we "skeptics" are sending your babies to the hospitals with measles and selfishly taking advantage of personal-belief exemptions to protect our own children from the dangers of immunizations.  You know, just the usual mainstream party line.  Whatever. 

What I found much more disturbing than the article are the comments.  Those who choose not to vaccinate their children are accused of everything from being  hysterical kooks who base their parenting decisions on something they read on the internet (at best) to, far more frighteningly, child-abusing murderers whose children should be taken away from them.  These comments are quite chilling.

I learned a long time ago it's better not to make a habit of being defensive of parenting decisions.  In the realm of vaccine discussion and debate, however, I think it behooves those of us who make alternative decisions to prepare ourselves with the best research we can find just in case this backlash against non-vaccinators triggers an outcry towards revoking exemptions or, worse yet, a demand for forced vaccinations that reaches Orwellian proportions.

The thing is,  some of us have something far more telling than medical literature causing us to give great thought to vaccine choices.  In 1985, my youngest sister received the MMR shot at 15 months of age.  A week later, a series of grand mal seizures began that forever changed the course of my sister's life.  Although she eventually outgrew the epilepsy, she will forever be affected by Asperger Syndrome.  Acting on her behalf, my parents took part in a class-action lawsuit involving the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act.  The federal government settled the claim out of court.  My sister (now nearly twenty-five) has a healthy trust operating on her behalf funded by that settlement.

What I find ironic is that many of those comments accuse those who make alternative vaccine choices as being uneducated on public health issues or of basing their parenting choices on a Google search.  In reality, most everyone I know (both online and offline) who has made choices that stray from the CDC mandated schedule are parents who have invested a great deal of time into research and reading real, documented, not magical, not made-up, published studies and perspectives.  I would go so far as to say that the average non-vax'ing-parent or delayed/selective-vax'ing parent knows more about the vaccine debate than the average vax-on-schedule parent.  And I say that speaking from my own experience with D.  I did absolutely zero reading or research on vaccine information with her.  It wasn't until she was nearly two years old that I began to do any research into the topic.  If it weren't for my unique family history, I cannot say that I would have ever given the subject a second thought.

Although I don't talk about it as often as I should, vaccine information advocacy is one of the topics I feel most strongly about.  If nothing else, I just desperately want every parent to know that just because the CDC and Big Pharm have a herd immunity plan in place doesn't mean you have to do what they tell you to do. 

And there's a sorta happy medium to be discovered in delayed vaccination scheduling. 

(Dare I ask?) 

Thoughts?

   

SortaCrunchy Recommends: Wearing the new baby (and beyond)

I'm feeling babywearing vibes from all over today!

First of all, I saw this post at Adventures in Babywearing wherein Stephanie has created a fab babywearing bloggers blogroll.  Next, I got an email from the wonderful company that started me out in wearing Baby Dacey - Lucky Baby.  (Who wants 10% off a new Lucky Baby sling?  Enter code LUCKY17 at checkout and voila!  10% off your next purchase today through March!)  Thirdly, my sister was telling me about her friend whose three week old son cries and cries unless she is holding him.  Oh my yes, do I know what that is like.  I told my sister her friend needs to get herself  sling!

All of this serves as motivation for me to finally publish a post I've been meaning to get written since my friend Megan (FriedOkra) asked me for my recommendations a while back.  A long while back.  Sorry, Megan!

Megan's question:
I need your ponderous, careful input about slings vs. wraps for newborns. What have you used and why? CAN one really get the right sling/wrap and learn how to NURSE baby in one? Ever?

I don't know about ponderous or careful, but I am always more than happy to share my experiences!  I wrote a bit about my general babywearing recommendations back in November, but wearing the newborn is an art in and of itself.

I didn't know about babywearing (beyond the Snugli) until D was about five or six months old, so I don't have a ton of newborn babywearing experience.  I have been wearing AJ since she was born, and I will be happy to share what worked for us in the earliest days and weeks - a ring sling.  My personal favorite is my Chicken Scratch ring sling, but there are a ton of wonderfully made and gorgeous unpadded ring slings on the market.

I like ring slings because they are infinitely adjustable and versatile.  I wore AJ in the tummy-to-tummy hold when she was a newborn and switched to the hip carry when she was six or eight weeks old.  A ring sling should last you on into toddlerhood, making it a great buy if you can only afford to have one carrier in your stash.

As far as nursing a baby in a sling?  Well, I've never been able to, but I also have oversupply issues combined with overactive letdown in the first six weeks of breastfeeding.  I have heard tell of plenty of mamas who have been able to nurse their babies while wearing them.  I'm just not one of them.  I would bet perusing the archives at TheBabyWearer forums would be helpful to anyone wanting to get tips on how to do this.  Also, I bet the mamas at your local La Leche League or Attachment Parenting International meetings would be able to give hands-on help.

Megan asked what I have used, so that's my recommendation based on actual experience.  There are many, many women who love a lightweight wrap for newborns.  The Moby is a particularly popular choice.  I've never worn a wrap, mostly because all the fabric is a little intimidating to me.  Wrap fans tend to really, really love their wraps, so there's got to be something to that.  Honestly, if I didn't already have a mei tai, I would have probably preferred a wrap.  My mei tai allows me to be totally hands-free, and I would imagine a wrap is the same way.  I think it is particularly important to have something you feel good about needing to do very few adjustments with your carrier if you have more than one child in your care.  The only drawback to a lightweight wrap is eventually baby will be too heavy to wear in it, so you'll have to choose a new carrier.  (and when I say lightweight, I am not thinking of the super gorgeous, heavy duty, woven wraps like Storchs and Didys!)

If you are able to get more than one carrier, I cannot tell you enough how much I love our Ergo.  Unfortunately, I hear rumblings that Ergo's business practices have not been so great lately (particularly to work-at-home parent businesses), so my glowing review of the Ergo is a little hesitant now, but I seriously could not survive these days without ours.  AJ spends a lot of time riding on my back in it around the house.  It makes my life so. much. easier.  There are lots of soft-structured carriers (also known in some places as buckle carriers) on the market today.  Here's a sampling at Attached to Baby: Buckle Baby Carriers.  (Personally, I am drooling over the Beco Butterfly!)  A buckle carrier is definitely a carrier that will take you far past infancy, so if you have some extra money in the budget or a doting grandma-to-be who wants to indulge you, I highly recommend one of these type carriers.

I'd love to hear from ya'll!  What was your favorite baby carrier for the newborn stage?  Did you find it was a good carrier for beyond infancy?  I'm always looking to increase my babywearing knowledge.  Please share!

Natural Thrush Remedy

We are still enjoying some nice, quiet Spring Break family time, but I wanted to pop in and post this while it's fresh on my mind.

When D was a baby, we went through a go-round with thrush that left me irritated with the disappointing lack of results from nystatin.  I sought out a natural treatment and found gentian violet to be recommended, but not without concerns (namely, the possible link to oral cancer as well as the fact that it is messy).   Further digging led me to grapefruit seed extract.  Some mamas on a cloth diapering board I used to frequent had put together some great information on how to use grapefruit seed extract to treat thrush. (Unfortunately, that forum has undergone an overhaul and the archives are no longer accessible, so I am afraid I cannot properly credit these women.)

Here are the basics on GSE use for thrush:

* Make a solution of ten drops GSE per one ounce of distilled water
* Paint baby's mouth with a cotton swab every two hours and before each feeding
* Paint nipples after feeding and let air dry
* If needed, paint diaper area as well; air dry
* If you don't see results after two days, increase GSE to fifteen to twenty drops per one ounce

Other tips for battling thrush:

* It is possible for the nursing couple to pass thrush back and forth without baby being symptomatic and vice-versa.  It's important to treat both mother and baby.
* Don't use lansinoh to treat nipple pain.  It will trap moisture and help the yeast to thrive.
* There is conflicting advice on how to treat items that come in contact with the yeast (diapers, bras, breast shields, pacifiers, etc.).  Some sources say to boil these items, other sources say boiling water causes the yeast to form a chiton (hard shell) to protect itself and to kill the yeast this way, you must boil for a very long time.  I've heard reports that a scoop of baking soda in the laundry will change the pH of the wash and effectively kill the yeast.  I've personally found soaking pacifiers in a GSE solution works well, too.  I also don't use cloth diapers when we are battling a yeast infection.
* A great way to treat sore, cracked nipples is to mix up a cream of equal parts clotrimizole (like Monistat or Lotrimin), hydrocortizone, and neosporin.  Apply to nipples after every feeding; if any residue is left before you begin the next feeding, gently wipe it away.  This cream will help with both the itching and pain for the nursing mother.  I have also used this cream sparingly to treat yeast diaper rash.

The reason this is fresh on my mind is I'm afraid the round of antibiotics AJ was on to treat her ear infection have led to a round of thrush for us.  Not fun, but manageable. 

I'll be around more after this week is over!

Mama Reads

I so don't have time to be on here, but I came across two items I wanted to share, and if I don't do it now, heaven knows I'll forget! 

It's because of the momnesia.  (thanks, Gretchen, for the link!)

Also, Mama-Mentor-to-All Ask Moxie posted earlier this week on doing things The Right Way.  I know you'll appreciate it.

Okay, back to the last-minute-oh-my-gosh-they're-going-to-be-here-in-five-hours company preparations.

All Zen About It

One of the most significant books I have read on motherhood in the past three years is Andrea J. Buchanan's Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It.  If you are a new(ish) mom, I strongly recommend this read.  Her collection of essays moves from those first moments of mothering shock - when you are kind of sitting around asking (or crying) what have I gotten myself into? - to that feeling that comes along about the time you hit mid-to-late toddlerhood when you find yourself thinking, "Hey.  I can do this.  I'm doing this.  I (sorta) know what I'm doing now."

Within the book, she writes on "Wednesdays at the Park," and "Everything I Really Needed to Know I Learned at Playgroup," and "I'm an Idiot," but my favorite essay is "Zen Mom, Beginner Mom" in which Buchanan relates the practice of Zen to mothering.  She references Shunryu Suzuki's statement that "the true purpose [of Zen] is to see things as they are, to observe things as they go, and to let everything go as it goes."  I found that statement to be so potent and inspiring that more than once I have copied it on a notecard and put it on my fridge as a gentle reminder to let everything go as it goes.  She goes on to talk about "being 'all zen about it'" within the practice of motherhood.  Of seeking out and celebrating the rhythm of life amidst the diaper changing and picking up blocks and reading the same blessed story for the four hundred and eleventh time.  Few things I have read in the past three years have brought me such peace and inspiration as I weathered the sometimes rocky transition from teaching other people's children to learning how to raise my own.

All of that is to say that there are many things about the practice of Zen I am drawn to.  I have looked into it enough to know that the true practice of Zen is drastically contradictory to my spiritual beliefs, what with the focus on self and the inherent Buddha nature within each person and all.  But there is a call to order within Zen that I desperately need and long for. 

As few months ago I happened upon Zen Habits, and evidently I'm not the only one seeking out ways to be all zen about life - the blog recently topped the 40,000 subscriber mark.  Leo writes on all manner of topics including frugal living and organization and exercise and more.  Amongst his most popular ideas is the Zen To Done productivity system which I am eager to begin.  He is all about simplifying, and I am so there.  If you have some free time (ha ha) give it a look over.  I bet you'll be inspired. 

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Grandma and Papa are coming in for a weekend visit, so I must tend to this SortaCrunchy home.  Following that visit is The Coach's spring break, so posting may be a bit sketchy for a while.  In the meantime - be well, practice good hand washing, and remember that barefoot weather is just around the corner!

Six months letter to AJ

Oh my dear, sweet Joyful Joy,

How can it be that six months ago today, at this very moment, we were welcoming you into this world?  Six months?  I can hardly believe even six weeks have passed . . . let alone half of a year. 

For all my good intentions, this is the first time I've actually made time to sit down and write to you to celebrate the passing of another month.  I'm sorry for that, and I hope that you'll forgive me. 

You continue to amaze and delight Daddy and I with your sweet, peaceful, happy, laid-back personality.  It's unbearably easy to get you to smile, and Daddy and I find it irresistible to make fools out of ourselves to keep that little baby grin on your face.  You've been sick with your first ear infection for the past week, and it's been awful to see such a happy baby be so miserable with discomfort. 

In the past few weeks, you have mastered the art of sitting up on your own and are now completely over being laid on your back to play on the floor.  If you happen to fall out of the sitting position, you flip yourself on your tummy as quickly as possible.  As I watch you playing on your tummy, I can see in your eyes and the way you are working your muscles that it's not going to be too terribly long before you just take off.

You absolutely adore and idolize your big sister.  Dacey can make you grin and laugh through no exertion of effort other than just being in the room.  Your favorite is watching her jump on the bed.  That gives you the biggest case of the baby giggles, and that makes Dacey laugh, too.  Oh, be careful, my sweet one.  That Dacey is bossy and I'm already a little fearful of the plans she has in store for her devoted tag-along.  But Big Sister is becoming increasingly interested and involved with you now, too, and that makes me happy.  When you start fussing, she is quick to tell me, "I think she needs mama milk, Mommy!"  She loves to watch you eat your cereal and likes to help Mama give you a bath each evening. 

Everyone, from friends to strangers at the grocery store, comment on your bright eyes and engaging smile.  You seem constantly amazed with and impressed by each person and place you experience.  I wonder what you are thinking inside that sweet head of yours.  I bet it will just be a  matter of time before you're telling us your thoughts, and I can't wait to hear.

Here are some snapshots of you at six months:

And, of course, some of Sister (so no one gets jealous!):

Mommy and Daddy love you girls so much, Aliza.  It's a little bittersweet for me today as I know the changes the next six months will bring.  But it's a fun time - the best part of babyhood in my opinion.  You're awake now and definitely needing some mama milk, so this is all I have time for.  I love you.  Happy six months!

Love,
Mommy