(ohmygosh, look at those baby toesies! I could just eat them up! photo by D Sharon Pruitt.)
In the comments on Monday's post, both Lauren and Jen mentioned that their families are about to add a plus one.
I remember in the days, weeks, and months leading up to AJ's arrival, I thought a LOT about what life with two littles would be like. Almost all of my mommy friends prepared me for the fact that there would be many moments of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, overwhelmed, confused, overwhelmed, and exhausted. And overwhelmed.
BUT.
These same veterans assured me that in no time at all, we would hit our stride and it would be so hard to remember what life was like before Baby Numero Dos had joined the family . . . that life was about to change all over again, and that it would be amazing.
(Interestingly, all of my friends who have three or more children have told me the transition from one to two kids is absolutely the hardest family transition. Most of them insist that after baby number two, the rest just sort of fall into place. Now, I am a little unsure of how much stock to put into this because the way I see it, Mom and Dad have to go from Man-to-Man Coverage to Zone Defense pretty much all of the time. How can that be easy? Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts on that, O Moms of Many!)
Although this wasn't one of the posts I had planned for Baby Week, I know there are many sweet readers who would have wonderful, loving, helpful, and practical advice for my Lauren and Jen and all the other mamas about to bring home a new baby sister or brother.
As for me? What advice would I share?
Well, practically speaking, I have two suggestions:
1) Invest in a great new baby carrier (if you don't already have one). All of my new mama friends are gaga over a stretchy wrap of some kind. The Moby is the classic choice, but I have friends who are in love with the Sleepy Wrap. Friend Jaime adores her Lovey Duds. You are going to want something that allows your hands to be attend to your other child while keeping the new one close to you. Bonus: wearing a new baby in a stretchy wrap keeps germy stranger fingers from lovingly infecting your new baby with random sickies.
2) If your older child will be at home with you during the day, create busy bags or something similar to keep them entertained during those new baby nursing sessions that can go on and on.
Emotionally preparation? That can be a little more tricky.
One thing that really helped me was to give myself permission to mourn The Way It Was. I did a little of this before Dacey was born, so I knew it was a natural, normal part of going through a life change, but I felt kind of guilty over my sadness when I was pregnant with AJ. I'm glad I took the time before AJ arrived, though, to really just be with my emotions about the changes that were about to happen.
I will be the first to admit that it took me a while - much longer than I was prepared for - to get the whole Mama of Two Thing down. Truth be told, I still have overwhelmed moments. But now that the girls are older, they no longer simply tolerate each other. They are growing into real friends. And that, my friends, is amazing.
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I can concur with the truth my mama friends spoke about how you eventually do adapt to, embrace, and celebrate the changes that come with the second baby. AJ is so much fun. Oh my word. Life without her? I can't even bear the thought of it.
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But really, this post isn't about me at all. I want to invite YOU to weigh in with words of encouragement, advice, and reflection for Lauren and Jen. What worked when you grew your family? What would you change? What would you say to them?
Feel free to share your response in the comments, or write a post of your own and post the link in the comment section. I can't wait to hear the wisdom you have to share!
