the death of supermama

I've seen it all over mommy-blogs for months. I've heard it from friends while discussing motherhood together. Shucks, even Megan - the sorta-supermama ;) - blogged about it yesterday! We're all trying to do the very best we can as mothers, nay, even pushing ourselves past our own abilities and resources in attempts to be like her and her, and even better than that mama. We've somehow believed the lie that says that our worth as a mother is only as valuable as the crafts we do, the green-ness we practice, the houses we transform into homes, the things we do for our children.

I'm over that. I'm totally over myself. Because as every good mother knows, it's not always about you. It's about our children, it's about our families. It's about how God is using this mama of this husband with these children to reflect His glory and His story in our lives.

If your reflection is telling you that you're not good enough, that you're not giving enough, that you're just not enough for your family, you are the prime candidate for the 12 Step Program for Supermama Wanna-be's...

Can't. Suck. In. My. Gut. Any. Longer.

My elusive attempts at becoming Supermama are hereby put to death.

Baby, these hips don't lie...they have now borne multiple children and that micro-mini leotard is no longer what to wear. When my first thought in the morning is "how will my booty look in Superwoman's bad-booty undies?", I think my illusions of one day morphing into her killer physique are more aptly stated as delusional. After all, it ain't easy for a four time suckling mother to keep that bold initial buoyant on a chest that has long since gone south.

So, I quit.

My name is ______ and I am a Supermama-wanna-be.

I admit that I am powerless over the desire to be-all and do-all, my life has become unmanageable.

I am done trying to fix myself and instead come to that Power greater than myself that alone can restore me to sanity amid the laundry and dirty dishes, tantrums of a toddler and chaos around me.

I choose to turn my desire to lead a perfect life on the arm of my perfect husband with my perfect kids in my perfect house over to the care of God.

Oh, how I wish I could skip this step: that searching moral inventory of myself that has led me to such fear of failure! (Deep breath...)

I admit to God, my husband, my children, my family, and friends that I have presented a facade of perfection that has slowly begun to crack, leaving me emotionally and mentally unstable and very nearly clinically insane!

I will continually make amends with my children when I am impatient, with my husband when I am selfish, and with all others when I am characteristically moody, mean, and menopause-ish.

I am ready for God to take over in His transforming work, to re-shape and re-mold me into a vessel that will only be devoid of defects on that day of presentation before my Creator.

God, take control.

I surrender to you my fantasy of having a phone-booth-morphing-moment in exchange for those quiet times with you, where You will teach me and speak to me, encourage and strengthen me, and answer my cries for help.

I will share my humiliating experiences and lessons in humility to other Supermama-wanna-be's and will practice honesty in all my shared life stories that together we might be transformed more and more into Your image and not settle for some hour-glass shaped caricature with a personality complex.

My name is now Mama. Just . . . mama.

a student of life, learning daily through the unconditional love of her God, her husband, and her four children. a lamb to her Good Shepherd and a shepherdess to her young ewes, all the while hoping that somehow, someway her life brings about change in the lives of others that will last for all eternity.  Read more from Dina at A Worthy Life.